Couplet Leveled

Listen to the darkness of a thousand hearts,
one so deep it pulls you in parts.
Tangled in strings that is the arts,
it's like you're caught in a web of darts.

The first line of the first stanza was such beautiful prose,
but it was only a line that my brain brought to pose.
A couplet was formed after some consideration,
the second couplet was bullshit made for justification.

Lost in the Erratic Showers of Colorful Lights and Darkness

It's been a year since I last received my diploma in animation but I haven't got myself a proper job yet. I spent the remaining of last year working from a part timer to a full timer in Hamley's and learned a lot of skills in franchising and selling but that hasn't really given me any proper allowance because the pay does not suffice to give real meaning to "making money".

I had the drive to go start studying all over again in a new field, that being nursing but now that I've gotten a larger picture, that flame had died out and now I'm lost in the dim lighted world again. I have a few things I want to do that could make me a living but those ideals do not show light in this country. I'd very much like to be involved in health science but not as a doctor or nurse. I figured that I'd rather do jobs along the lines of a caretaker or therapist, those kind of people who take care of others but are not nurses, instead work at old folks homes, retirement homes or homes for the disabled. I still want to learn sign language and braille and maybe help children who are mute, deaf or blind. I want to do volunteer work to help the needy, assist shelters or charities organised by religious groups. I want to do those kind of things but my family members keep calling them a waste of time and that I should pursue studying again if I really don't want to stay in the animation industry.

For the past three months from the straight road to nursing, I had been shown more paths to take and being indecisive, I can't decide on what I want to do. People would ask me, "What do you want to do for your future?" or "Where do you see yourself ten years time?" and I would be completely helpless and clueless without answer because I really, exactly, have no idea what I want to do. Listening to countless motivational talks from many people only gave me momentary effects and then I would be clueless again, not having a single idea which path I should take, where I should go or most importantly, what I want to do.

Every day passes by in the blink of an eye and here I am, still lost, only guided by a single faint light of motivation named Lydia. But I cannot rely on her as my motive in life because she has her own goals and so should I. I always want to make the most out of life by going places and constantly learning things without being tied to a single location but the hard grounded ideals of the modern society doesn't make that life seem realistic or possible.

Hopefully I can find my answers soon because despite hating the fact, time is in fact passing by quickly.

The Heart of Damansara Jaya

Atria had been closed and knocked to the ground. That small mall had been a part of my childhood where I'd spend most of my time during my primary school years. Now it has been rebuilt and soon to be open and I am there, weekly. Why? I'm setting up the new Hamley's outlet there.

Yeah, I returned to Hamley's and had been doing what I like to do, storeroom work and stock transfers and now, with the new outlet opening, I went to lend a hand at what I'm good at. I didn't know what to expect the first morning at Atria, looking from the outside I could tell that the shopping gallery (that's what it's called now) isn't completed but going inside, it was far more incomplete that I thought. The opening to the mall (I'm lazy to type 'shopping gallery') had been postponed by a whole month since February and from the looks of it, it seemed as if the owners or whatever people who own this project haven't been paying their workers because almost everything isn't done yet. Shops are all still boarded up, the floors are still covered in boards, the escalators were still undergoing tests. It's no wonder that when Steven asked me to help with the setting up, he said that I will suffer because everything here is dusty like an abandoned mansion. The people who were there to do the opening were Steven, his friend Alex and Kai Yin, who's from the Hamley's outlet in Quill City Mall.

The first week I was working there, Nadine and her friend, Shazlan were there to help out. They did displaying while I had to help Say Nee do stock count for the stocks that were forced to be delivered from the Subang Parade fair to Atria instead of 1Utama. It took me four days to do the stock count because I also had to do, "on-the-spot stock transfers" because of the relocation of the stocks from Subang Parade. On Friday after Nadine and Shaz had stopped helping out because of college projects, Lydia joined us, the outlet setup team is reassembled! It seems as if we're gonna be done with our part. I'll stop working at Hamley's again once the setting up here is done, I guess the same goes with Lydia.

I look forward to the new Atria Shopping Gallery.

I ate grape from a plate

If time could just stop, that would just be great.
If I saw you a few times today, I would simply call that fate.
If life gave you spoiled lemons, there is no point to hate.
If I could tell you how I feel, things might change for the better,

heck, I bet it would be, great.

31 at Midnight

It's been quite some time already since Lydia last made me owe her ice cream, Baskin Robbins ice cream on top of that. I've never bought BR before and the last time I had a taste of BR's was when I was 10. Reason being that it has always appear to me as expensive ice cream, which to me is still, expensive ice cream. It has always been on my mind and I've been looking for the right time to get her that. A few times already had I asked her if she wanted to claim her free scoop of ice cream but on those occasions she was either not feeling well or wanted to lose some weight.

So last Tuesday, on the 31st of March, the day before GST is applied in Malaysia, the day Baskin Robbins have a 31% discount on their goodies, I went to purchase a quart of ice cream for Lydia (and also a quart for my family). Earlier in the afternoon Denise was blabbing as usual and she suggested that I give Lydia ice cream because she's so busy with assignments and that it would be pretty sweet to give her ice cream. Sure, I really do wanna give her ice cream but I needed a reason. I've always needed a reason because of my low self-esteem. Denise said that I should just go to her house and give it to her at night, that sounded like an idea that I had in the back of my head which I had dumped because it sounds so fictional and annoying to the receiving party but hearing that from another person pushed my determination to do so. Denise then asked Chloe and Hannah about their opinions on this course of action and they said it would be pretty sweet as well. So that sparked the flame in me and after work, I went to buy Lydia her ice cream. It was my first time buying from Baskin Robbins and it felt like an accomplishment.

Later that night, I lied to my parents that I was gonna surprise a friend with the ice cream and took the car down. After building up some more courage, I got out of my car, walked in the park in front of her house and called her. It took her a while to come out after hanging up and she was surprised. I told her pretty honestly that "I just felt like it" when she asked why I got her the ice cream, and also that I still owed her ice cream. We talked for a bit in the middle of the road, about what's going on, how's it at the store, upcoming plans and the sort. I confessed that I wanted to ask her out but because she's going for a trip I couldn't ask her. She in turn then said that we should arrange on another time but because she's so busy with her assignments she can't make any promises. I'm fine with that because I know too well the workload she's going through.

I'm glad I actually did drive to her place just to give her ice cream, it was her favorite flavor too. I hope she liked it. Uh. I feel so childish.

Shorter Showers Save Water

On the 22nd of March, Lydia, Kayla, Ryan and I got together to participate in the Thirsty Runner event. It's a charity run event to raise awareness for the conservation of water and other stuff that I'm not concerned about (or I got all that wrong because I only know it's a run for something to do with water). The run was located at Taman Jaya so I had to take the LRT from Kelana Jaya because I don't know the roads to Taman Jaya.

Early in the morning, I woke up and got ready and I was just right on schedule. I decided to eat at the mamak near SMKDJ and so I went there. There wasn't a lot of people since it was so early in the morning, the main reason I went there was for the hot milk they serve but because I was half awake when I got there, I ordered an Indo mee goreng double ayam, which I actually just wanted an Indo mee goreng ayam. The plate of noodles was so big and I was suppose to have only fifteen minutes to eat and head to the LRT station. So I quickly downed my breakfast and made my way to the LRT station, quickly parked my car outside 7-11 and pace walked to the platforms.

It didn't take long for a train to arrive and I quickly got on but our train was delayed because of a commotion that went happened between a man a police officer. From what I heard from their conversation, the policeman wanted to see the tall guy's IC but he said he left it at home which was very strange ominous. After about 4 minutes of trying to get the guy off the train, just as Lydia texted me asking about my location, the policeman gave up and let the train proceed as he called for backup. I was very sure that everyone on the train besides the guy felt fearful and worried because of what happened. Turned out the guy was mad, he was talking to himself and saying strange things into his hand like talking into a phone. Of all places on the train he chose to stand near me because I was sitting at the front of the train and pretty much shooed me away because he wanted to see the front of the train too. I quickly took a seat in front of an obviously disturbed guy who's expression was full of worry and distraught because of the madman. Over the short period of stations to Taman Jaya felt like a long time. More and more unaware passengers entered the train not knowing of what had happened earlier. The madman at one point warned a passenger who sat near him about holes that appear suddenly and people crawling into them, he also frequently brings his hands to his ear to 'communicate' with his 'operator'. When the train reached Taman Jaya I was so relieved that to get away from him. I know it's mean but this is one of the homo sapiens instincts of survival, get away from things deemed dangerous.

Lydia called me a second time as I was walking out of the station to the roads. She informed me that they were going ahead to put their bags at the bag collection counter and that I should hurry up. I quickly made my way to the park and changed into my sport shorts, dropped off my bag and searched for the group, which in turn, found me instead because I'm so short and I can't spot them in the sea of people taller than me.

After a Zumba dance exercise, the 7km runners get to go first, which was us. We joined the crowd and headed towards the starting point. After a short while, the run started and we jogged our way. Before the run started, we were informed that the organizers had only prepared 750 trophies so only the first seven hundred and fifty finishers get to have them on the day itself, the finishers after seven hundred and fifty will have theirs sent by mail on another day. Lydia and I then decided to challenge ourselves to be one of the seven hundred and fifty. As we were jogging, I started doing the math (completely bullshit, everything was based on 100% estimation) and when I counted that more than five hundred people had passed me, I started running. Lydia, Kayla and Ryan were running by the sides but before I knew it, I had lost everyone. Well, the trophy was on my mind and I wanted to impress Lydia so I pushed on while wondering whether the others had went ahead of were behind me.

The running path went through some highways and hills and into housing areas, there were a lot of slopes so this run had proven difficult especially going uphill. With my terrible stamina, I kept making walks with short bursts of dashes through this run, eventually the people around me in the run were always the same few I'd recognise from the the clothes they're wearing, the gadgets they're carrying or their hair or booty, uh, I mean body frame and fitness. There was a long bend at one point and as I was running past, Ryan and Kayla suddenly called out to me from the opposite lane, they were behind me. Lydia however was not in sight, I had a feeling she was somewhere behind me so I pushed myself harder to keep a distance just in case.

I eventually made it to the finishing line, and by the side was this huge timer to show the time. I didn't know what it was at first but I saw the numbers 53.46 (I forgot the decimal units actually, roughly recalling it) which meant that I finished the run in fifty three minutes, that wasn't bad for me who's got bad stamina and doesn't train for runs. After getting the goody bag and a banana from the staff from the organizers of the run, I went to get myself a cup of 100plus and then collect my bag because I wanted to take pictures of the others coming through the finishing line. While I was waiting, Lydia suddenly called me and the moment I answered it, I saw Ryan and Kayla coming so I quickly blared a bunch of words about taking a picture of them and hanged up, snapped two pictures and turned around to see Lydia waving to us from behind. I quickly went to join her and the two of us waited for Ryan and Kayla to come out from the queue to leave their details because they were late to get the trophies. Lydia was ecstatic! She kept smiling from ear to ear and gave me so many high fives. Turned out the trophy was this cute little wooden water bucket in the goody bag. I thought it was just some cute wooden water bucket but it was actually a cute wooden water bucket trophy.

After meeting up together again, we hanged around for a bit taking photos and checking out the booths on location. After the event was officially closed, we went our ways home. Kayla's parents fetched her from the park while Lydia, Ryan and I took the LRT. Lydia got off at Asia Jaya but I actually wanted to offer to drop her home but I was still kind hungover from getting to see Lydia again and also from the joy of getting the trophy with Lydia (I was also feeling shy because I haven't seen her in a while). I had offered to drop Ryan at 1U earlier so Ryan followed me.

After dropping Ryan at 1U, I dropped by Hamley's for a while before going back home. Coming up next would be the Glow Run. Oh boy.

Square One and Other Dull Tales

The past few weeks have been a blur after the Chinese New Year holidays.

During Chinese New Year, we went back to Penang like every other year. This year's new year was somewhat different in both good and bad ways however. One new year's eve, my dad and I had to drive back to KL after the reunion dinner to get my sister's power bank that was left charging in her room. We were afraid that it would overheat and catch fire so we had to make the round trip. When we went back up the next day, we were caught in a massive traffic jam in Perak. This year, my mom's youngest brother and his wife didn't attend the reunion dinner and they came and left quickly because of a little pointless feud, also, this year was the first time my parents argued at my uncle's house on the first day of CNY; It was so awkward. Joyous however, I got to meet up with some of my long lost cousins, nephews and nieces from my dad's side of the family. This year is also the first time I got to drink beer during CNY. After CNY, my niece, Elspeth starts to talk to me occasionally, mostly regarding jobs and studies. We're the same age so I guess she's trying to relate to me since we haven't seen each other in many years. However I don't seem to share her point of view so I try not to engage in too serious discussions about my philosophies in life with her.

So after CNY, I seemed to have bonded somewhat more with the staff back at Hamley's who I haven't been working much with, mostly with Denise, Kenneth and Shing. One day Melvin asked me to help out with the setting up for the new retail outlet in Quill City Mall. I was supposed to go there for a week but after the first day, I ended up getting stuck at the 1Utama outlet because Melvin couldn't fetch me or the timing was off. One thing lead to another and now I'm back working as a part-timer at 1Utama. Most of my favorite staff members have resigned already because their college classes has started already however. Now there's Denise, Debbie, Soo Gee, Khay Vin and KeShan left but I'm not that close to Soo Gee, Khay Vin and KeShan. Of course there's still Gerald who doesn't seem to be going anywhere soon. There's a group of new staff members and they all think I'm scary however, I'm not sure why. One of them, Ben, admits that he's afraid of my (apparently) huge forearms. Hannah and Ryan however didn't disclose any information and dodged my question, they however didn't deny that they were afraid of me for a while.

So in those weeks when I haven't been doing anything after CNY and before returning to Hamley's, I've been going to Camp5 to do rock climbing, mostly bouldering. I tried to go as often as possible because I paid for a three month membership. I still prefer to go when there's not a lot of people because I'm still new to rock climbing and everyone else I see are experienced, even the people who are younger than me. At night however, it's full of professionals and that makes me feel very uncomfortable because it's crammed and I feel oppressed by their professionalism. I recently bought a new pair of rock climbing shoes so I gotta make the most out of it.

My plans of the future has changed after CNY when we were talking about careers and study paths. Instead of going for an animation degree now, I'm looking at changing courses and going to nursing school. I've always had an interest in nursing but I didn't take it seriously. Now that the animation industry in Malaysia is stagnant and crap, I've decided to change directions. However there's a post-production company my cousin recommended that sense it's new employees to Japan for training that interests me a lot (because Japan!) so I might apply there for some experience (actually, Japan!). I can't decide yet so I'm taking it easy now since I'm working at Hamely's again but honestly I'm like that just because Hamley's is my safe place that I'm comfortable at.

The renovations in my house started some time before CNY and right now they're working on our dry kitchen now so we don't have a kitchen whatsoever. It's really dusty everyday and not having a basin to do the dishes is so difficult to deal with. We have to wash our dishes outside at the pipe in front of the house and our stove is located in our porch. I feel so lazy and unmotivated to do any cooking or washing because of this tedious situation.

Ever since the Spectrum Dash run, I haven't been meeting any of my friends from work besides Ryan who I see at the store often. Lydia and I haven't been talking since our little dispute. I don't talk to Calvin on social media so yeah. I really miss them especially Lydia but for some reason I'm afraid of seeing her or talking to her so I haven't been texting her. The last time I did was asking her if she wants to catch Kingsman with me after CNY but she had already watched it. After that I simply didn't communicate with her whatsoever. Even when she sent messages in our group chats, I don't reply. Only when she asked for some documents for our upcoming runs I sent her an email or just yesterday she commented on my Facebook status about walking into things did I contact her. This whole episode has left me feeling so lonely and somewhat lost. Returning to the store made me recall a lot of memories of the times I spent with her in the store, it might not mean much but it just makes me have the feels. This absence makes me realise how much of an impact Lydia has left on me and how much she means to me. This is actually building up my courage to confess to her again but at the same time I'm afraid. I'm sure we will meet again in our next run, hopefully I won't burst into tears when I see her because that's how I feel I would do if I see her right now. So until then, I'll continue longing for her presence with me.

This Pear

When you are at your lowest and no one's advice matters,
how do you move on?

When you are absolutely lost and there are no signs to guide you,
how do you move on?

When you are down and disheartened and you hide it so no one can see it,
how do you move on?

When you are broken and fallen and no one can reach you,
how do you move on?

When everything collapses upon you and no one can find you,
how do you live on?

V

Idiocy is the mind set wrong,
Lunacy is the condition gone wrong,
Obliviousness is the mind gone false,
Valiantness is the appearance set false.

Everything I say, are stupid comments,
You don't say a thing, to build defense,
Obviously to me, you take offence,
Unfortunately for me, silence commence.

Tell me why am I so foolish,
Overly desperate for closure and finish,
Overly pushy for answers and replies,
Must I drown in my foolish, in my own demise.

Undoubtedly I dug my own grave again,
Care you forgive me this time again,
Hopefully you will, I will wait once again.

Spectrum Dash

On the 31st of January, I went for a charity run with Lydia, Kayla and Ryan called the Spectrum Dash. It's organised by Methodist College Kuala Lumpur and it serves as a couple run at the same time. For obvious (disappointing) reasons my partner is Ryan while Lydia partnered with Kayla.

The run was held at Padang Merbok and it starts at 7:30am. I've never been there before but I knew I just had to take the LRT there because I can't possibly take my car -my mom has to use it to go to work- nor can I ask my dad to drop me off there because he's now a grumpy old man and it's too early in the morning. I woke up at 5am and my dad dropped me off at the Kelana Jaya LRT station to which I took to Masjid Jamek and then walked to the field.

Upon reaching there, with no clue where the field is, I asked the LRT staff members for directions and later on, I had to use the GPS on my phone to get there, along the way, I became the guide for a huge group of other runners who didn't know the way either. Anyway, we made it safely in time.

Two days prior, Lydia and I got into a small disagreement and we didn't talk to each other then. I'm not surprised that she decided not to tell me about the shuttle bus that fetched runners from MCKL to the field. That would have saved me some money and energy, either way, it was pretty much my fault to begin with so I bore with it. I was also not surprised that Lydia decided not to talk to me the whole time, which was upsetting but I just can't mope around, I've got a run to focus on.

Since I was the last one to arrive, I collected my number and joined the others to leave our bags at the bag storage counter. We then hanged around and waited for the event to officially start. There was a small speech given and a warm up exercise to my joy, was to Mark Ronson's Uptown Funk.

With the race bands that we had collected the week before, Ryan and I linked the bands together and we joined the others at the starting point. We basically just did a small jog the way and pace ran a few times. I wasn't wearing out but Ryan was struggling because he said he had worn the wrong shoes again, after making a comment referring to the Broga hike we did a few weeks back. Nevertheless, with my annoying motivational speeches, Ryan and I made it to the finishing line, tired and painful. Ryan had pains in his sides and legs and I had pains in my back, hurting the aches I had from Jump Street.

After the race, we stayed to watch a few performances the event had in store. There was a guy who is apparently a popular Malaysian YouTuber who sang a few Ed Sheeran songs, there was a really nice dance performance by this dance crew and two duets by two separate groups of young talents from SEGi college and MCKL.

After the post-event, the four of us walked to the Masjid Jamek LRT station to head back. Before Lydia left, I apologized for whatever reasons I made her mad. Honestly I wasn't sure but I apologized anyway.

Overall, the run was a good experience. We'll be running in more upcoming runs together. I look forward to that excitement. Better do something about my sore back soon, it feels like my spine is the root of the problem.

Jumping Jumping

Last Tuesday I woke up at 6am after a rough nights sleep. I haven't been able to sleep properly the past few nights and the anticipation of that day's activity and the thought of seeing Lydia again wasn't helping.

After getting ready, I still had time to spare so I let my phone charge and practiced some knots for rock climbing. As it was nearing 6:30am, I had a change of mind and I switched my bag pack to a larger one and headed out. I drove down to Uptown DU for a quick stop at the bank before heading to Lydia's house as planned the night before.

I gave Lydia a call after parking my car outside her house but she didn't answer. I thought I'd wait in the car but I saw her mom outside so I thought I'd greet her. Doing so resulted in Lydia's mom inviting me into the house. I couldn't reject her repeated offer after declining once so I stepped into the house after playing with Nicky, their dog for a bit.

Upon entering the house I quickly remembered that according to religious superstition, I shouldn't have entered because Lydia's grandmother passed away last week. A folding table with her grandmother's portrait and some offerings were placed facing the front door. I'm not that religious so it didn't bother me that much. I took a sit in one of the couch as Lydia's mom informed me that she's in the bath. That quickly alerted me when I heard the toilet door lock opened. After a while Lydia came out, quite surprised to see me. She told me to wait a bit before heading upstairs. After some more waiting, Lydia came back down dressed and told me about the superstition. I assured her about it and she proceeded to pack her stuff. Lydia suddenly asked me if I remembered to bring Kayla's receipt, which to my horror, I realised that I forgot to transfer it from my previous bag to this one. Lydia quickly contacted Kayla and asked her to send her a copy. My carelessness resulted in us not having our breakfast.

After getting Kayla's receipt into her pendrive, Lydia and I headed out to shop lots to find a printing shop but none were open. As we wanted to grab breakfast at the morning market, the Rapid bus arrived and we had no choice but to hop on.

We got off at Asia Jaya and while Lydia was buying her pass to board the train, a Japanese man asked me to help him to buy a ticket to which I immediately assisted him without second thought. Which surprised me because I acted as if it was a normal occurrence to me.

Lydia and I got off at KL Sentral and we met up with Ryan, then we walked out and headed to the KL Methodist College. Our objective is to collect our Spectrum Dash race packs for the run this coming Saturday.

After a small problem entering the campus with the guard, we found ourselves getting stares and looks from the students in the campus as we made our way to the collection point following signs pasted on various walls and railings. We later realised that we were the only ones wearing shorts. As we waited outside the collection place which was locked, a lecturer passed by and asked us why we were wearing shorts. We told her that we weren't students from the college and she seemed rather alarmed and it doesn't appear that she's aware of the event.

After a while a girl in the Spectrum Dash shirt came up to us and informed us about the delay. We waited a little longer and then they finally got the keys to enter the room. We collected our packs and then we headed back. Lydia and I finally got our breakfast at a coffee shop Lydia knows about and we walked around in Nu Sentral for a while before taking the train back to Asia Jaya.

We got back to Section 17 and we hopped into my car. We then headed to 1U to fetch ZL and we headed for lunch at a coffee shop where Ryan's mom sells pan mee. We had lunch and then headed back on the road to our much awaited activity: Jump Street.

After paying the entrance fees and a slight problem with the lockers, we went right in and started jumping in the park full of trampolines. There was one with basketball hoops of various heights, there was a dodge ball arena with trampolines, a foam pit and a large jumping zone as well as an area with professional trampolines. We jumped around and even played dodge ball against another group of people. Ryan has been here before and he learned a trick and tried to teach us. ZL, Lydia and I tried to learn the trick but our bodies were too scared to free fall into the trampoline, regardless, ZL was the most enthusiastic about learning the trick and kept trying.

After an hour, we took a break and cooled ourselves then played another hour. At the last few minutes, we tried the professional trampolines, it was a lot more springy and we easily bounced up. ZL tried to master the trick Ryan taught us here.

As the announcer announced that our time is up, ZL tried his last attempt but messed up and the recoil from the trampoline made him knee himself in the face. This resulted in him getting gashes in around his eyes from the impact of his glasses hitting his face. The wounds were very obviously deep and we quickly brought him out to seek medical attention. ZL however was a little stubborn and kept insisting that he's okay. After the three of us convinced him to get aid, he went into the office with a staff member to get some medicine. Later I helped tape some wire gauze to cover his gashes with the surgical tape I always carry around. It was a very upsetting incident and Lydia especially seemed upset. I suppose she felt responsible because she was the one who organized this outing, on top of knowing that ZL's mom is very protective over her son. This accident is bound to make his mom very upset. I however feel very guilty because of my fascination over how deep the gashes on ZL's face were. All the while I was studying the wounds and doing the science in my head. If I didn't restraint myself I might have asked for a first aid kit and started poking at his gashes for further inspection of the gashes to satisfy my curiosity. His gashes looked like they require some stitches.

I dropped everyone home before meeting up with my family. Well it was a fun day but with a tragic ending. I notice this kind of endings happen way too frequently.

Log

Today's a nice day. The sun is shining and the wind is blowing. If not for the fact that my house is absurdly dusty because of the renovation going on and the fact that I'm hungry because my mom didn't buy us lunch, today would have been a great day.

When I walked into the kitchen with the empty can of Milo, I was hit with a feeling of breathtaking awe at the frame of life's moment. The sun's rays were shinning through the bamboo shutters of the kitchen windows, there was a glint of reflected light from the kettle resting by the kitchen sink with the living lid open to cool the freshly boiled water, the wall fan was blowing and the soft sound of Kiss from a Rose by Seal was playing in the background from the living room. All of that felt alive and I stood in the kitchen a full minute just to soak all that in. If I had a good video camera I would have went to capture the moment. I was a good moment to capture and put into an artistic short film.

It's the third day I'm having away from work and I've been spamming myself with episodes after episodes of anime, be it something I haven't watched yet or something I've watched already, while slowly cleaning up my computer desk.

Also, I've been feeling pretty sentimental recently. I'm not quite sure why but I'm struggling between wanting to watch tear-jerking anime and sleeping, both which I want to avoid doing at the moment.

Also, my Internet is down because the construction workers snapped our Unifi fiber optic wire. I'm using my mom's mobile data plan with her tablet as a portable hotspot. On top of all that I'm getting annoyed of not having any Internet for my PC.

The other day I went out with Lydia. I don't know if it's counted as a date but as Lydia had mentioned before about seven months ago, 'an outing when a boy and girl are the only ones together is called a "date".'. We first had lunch at Fuel Shack, checked out the huge art store in The Curve, caught a movie, The Rewrite and walked around Ikea before ending the day. We didn't do much but I enjoyed myself very much. It was great catching up with her.

The Rewrite was an interesting film. It felt like something for an art festival yet not quite. It was the first time I could sit back and relax in a cinema, slowly enjoying the piece before me.

Sour Milk turned Yogurt

I was drifting in and out of sleep because I was feeling cold. As I was about to drift into sleep again, my alarm rang and the two of us sprang up awake. I quickly went over to turn my alarm off and Saw got up and looked at his phone. I was sleeping over at Saw's place.

After cleaning up, the two of us got ready and headed out quietly because everyone else in Saw's house is still asleep. The time was 3:30a.m. Shortly we arrived at Centerpoint McDonald's and we met up with Ryan and Calvin who camped out there. The two of them didn't sleep and Calvin was just about to have his "breakfast". I dropped by 7-11 to grab some coffee and sweets and then we headed to Lydia's house. Lydia was waiting for us outside her house, after another drop by at 7-11 we headed off towards our destination, the reason for waking up so early in the morning, Broga hill.

The hour long ride felt pretty long as we made small talk in the car. When we arrived, Lydia was so worried about us being the only people at the hill because the parking area was very dark and we couldn't see any other cars until we reached deeper into the area. We got down, grabbed our stuff and we started hiking up with me in the lead.

After a while, Lydia and Ryan started telling me to slow down because they were running out of breath. I was actually kinda surprised because I thought of Lydia as kinda athletic. Personally I have bad stamina and I thought everyone else was better than me. Soon after slowing down, Saw who was still pumped up, took lead after overtaking Calvin, Ryan and Lydia. Along the way I just kept giving the others words of encouragement thought it could have been excessive.

When we were about the reach the top, Ryan was giving in already. He had worn the wrong shoes so he started to have cramps in his foot. It must have been very bad because he couldn't go on after we hiked to the third checkpoint of the hill. Ryan told us to go on ahead to the peak while he laid down and rest. This was the first time I climbed up to the peak of Broga hill. It sure was an accomplishment for me. The four of us sat at the rocks after taking photos and waited for the sun to rise but unfortunately it was too cloudy and we couldn't see the sun rise from behind the hills in the distance. After deciding what to do next, we headed down to reunite with Ryan.

After exiting the place, we headed to a nearby coffee shop and had breakfast. There, Calvin found out that it was my birthday when he logged into Facebook and informed everyone else. After the meal, we decided to go to the Shah Alam Botanical Park.

The long ride was most of us dozing in and out of sleep. I'm not sure but it seemed to me that Lydia didn't sleep during the ride. We made it to the park and made a quick decision to see the Four Season House and cycle around the park. After paying the entrance fee, we headed to the bicycle rental tent and got ourselves some bicycles. While at that, we were also deciding whether to go Skytrex as well, Lydia and I were really up for it but Saw didn't want to so we didn't go for it.

We cycled towards the forest area and tried to find the Four Season House. The problem was our bikes were not well maintained because the gears were in pretty bad shape, so were our legs. We got tired really fast especially when cycling uphill. My knees were so sore. Ryan got leg cramps along the way. After reaching several dead end,s we turned back to go back to the entrance area and it was a good thing because it started to drizzle. After returning our bikes, we decided to catch the coach to the Four Season House, turned out it was at the opposite side of where we went.

After we got off at the stop, we walked towards the house and to my surprise, it was freezing cold! We were informed that it was the winter season now but I never had imagined that it was really winter in the building. It was -2.1 degree Celsius and we could see our breaths, we were wet from sweat and wearing shorts, it was really damn cold! After messing around in the freezing cold we headed out and walked around the nearby area of the park. There was a watch tower that we climbed. When we made it to the top, Lydia and I had to help Ryan because both his legs were cramped up to the thighs. It was excruciating pain because Ryan was literally screaming and punching the floor when we helped him loosen his muscles. After enduring the pain, he was okay again.

We walked about the park for a little longer and then visited the animal farm. There were deer, horses, porcupines and tortoises. After a while, we headed back and decided to grab lunch. I recommended the shops around my area but the time wasn't exactly right because it was past lunchtime. The ride this time, Lydia fell asleep with her mouth open. She doesn't know that. Hehe.
 After lunch, Saw dropped me back home. Everyone wished me a happy birthday again and that was that.

This day was definitely the best birthday I've had in terms of productivity and health. An all out exercise day. I was experiencing muscle aches all over the next day though.

Running My Mouth, Spoiled The Milk

By a stroke of luck (or the work of my sneaky manager or purely coincidence), my off day from work changed to the 6th of January instead of the 10th. What's so special about the 6th of January? I try not to make it any special because I've come to find that this "special" event for this date to be so mundane and uneventful. Either way, it's probably wishful thinking but I wanted to try and make it special anyway despite most of my friends being busy with work or studies.

I spontaneously planned a hike to Broga hill with my colleagues, specifically Lydia, Ryan and Calvin but when Ryan said he can't make it, I got worried and desperate and I asked other people to join. While asking Saw wasn't a bad idea, Kristene heard me and spread the word like butter on bread. It soon became an amalgamation of people interested in joining in. I thought it wasn't a problem so when I updated Lydia about it, she got uninterested because of the number of heads that were going. And when I found out that I won't have the car to myself, we would only have Saw to rely on for transport so that's one car and limited heads to count. When I urged the others to confirm their attendances, one by one each of them bailed out including Calvin, which disappointed me much. Also, if Lydia doesn't go then Ryan won't go. So what's left is a party of three and here I am hoping to convince Lydia to join in again. Simply because I wanted it to make it special.

I was so worried about not having enough people for the hike to work that I forgot that what I wanted was to spend this "special" day with some of the people I care about and not with acquaintances I've made. So much for running my mouth and not thinking through. I hope Lydia will come. I really do. I want to spend time with her on this "special" day because I want to make it special to remember about, not make it yet another mundane "special" day.

But I get the feeling that even if she does go, I won't be as happy as I would have been if I hadn't run my mouth because spoiled milk is spoiled milk. Once, sour, stays sour.

New Year 2015

It's the New Year of 2015. More brooding uncertainties to come. Time to review my boring yet eventful life of the year 2014.

The past year sure has been eventful. Besides officially graduating from college and feeling utmost lazy from studying, I got my first job at a retail outlet. Sure, it's got nothing to do with my line but it was a fun and eye opening experience at work. On top of that I feel that I've matured a lot more working at the outlet. I learned about business, staff management, merchandising and a bunch of other work related stuff. I also learned a lot of things about myself. Lots of self reviewing there.

For the New Year celebration, which wasn't that much of a celebration, Lydia, Ryan, Calvin and I went to the Curve to see the fireworks. We met up after work and walked there together. We were early so we went to Ikea to grab some curry puffs and we chatted for a while. After that we went out to try and catch the fireworks. We were not sure where the fireworks will be let out from so we went out towards the Surian tower where we thought we could see the whole sky. It was a whole half an hour of standing around waiting for something to happen. And then suddenly fireworks. No countdown, nothing. Just suddenly fireworks started firing. But guess what, we can't see the fireworks because it was on the opposite side and it was pretty low. Lydia asked if we should go over but as the fireworks were displayed, people started going over which discouraged us to join in. We also thought there would be bigger ones but after two rounds of aerial explosions, nothing. Feeling disappointed we went back home.

Happy New Year. Yay. Another year older, not a little bit wiser. Cheers.

Lazy post is lazy.

Christmas and Comic Fiesta

Comic Fiesta Day 1

I woke up behind schedule. I was suppose to leave the house at 7a.m. and reach the LRT station in Kelana Jaya by 7:30a.m. thus allowing me to reach KLCC by 8a.m. and be ready for booth setup and preparations. Instead, I woke up at 7:30a.m., got distracted by my phone for half an hour, reached the LRT station another half an hour later and reached the convention center at about 9:30a.m., which happened to be the time for the event doors to open. What luck but I still manage to set up my stuff in time before the massive crowd pours into the artist booth section which was located far away from the entrance (at Hall 5) at Hall 1.

Upon reaching KLCC, I quickly rushed my way to the convention halls and made my way into Hall 1. There was a ridiculously long queue going into the entrance of the hall for the normal event goers, like usual. I contacted Cheryl and Wee and soon Wee came out of the hall and got me in with our booth pass. After dropping my stuff down and greeting my friends who I haven't seen in a long time, Misaki, Baddie and Za. Cheryl and Choi were out getting food from Suria KLCC. While I waited for the others to settle their goods, Misaki informed me that I should fetch Cheryl and Choi into the event hall with our booth passes and so I went towards Hall 3. After getting the two of them and briefly catching up with them, I had to make a quick drop at the little boys room as usual in the mornings since I've started working. After the quick relief, I went back to the hall and upon entering, I met Wayne! It's been a really long time since I last saw him. We chatted for a bit and then we parted ways. I went back to my booth and set up my badges. With that we were ready for business!

Like usual, our table space was cramped. With five people sharing a single booth, we had no choice. Like usual, I sat at the booth most of the time because digging into my bag full of different Pokeballs is difficult for the others because they don't know the way I've organized them in my bag and I am the only one who can remember ever single Pokeball.

And like usual, nothing much happens at the booth. Most of the eventful events are friends dropping by. My juniors in scouts dropped by. My juniors in college dropped by. Some friends dropped by. But the highlights are of course, Emma came in cosplay as Yokai (Mr. Callaghan) along with Yumi, Mae Yen dropped by! She's got a nice short haircut that makes her look mature, she sure is growing up now. I thought Denise would have went as well but turned out she didn't because she had Christmas dinner in Ipoh. I also met up with Snow, Shu, Mandy and Mandy (Samui and Ayaka). I went one round around the booth area and I spotted Debbie from highschool. I wasn't sure if it was her because I only saw her profile view.  Either way, at 6p.m. we were suppose to close shop. I packed up my stuff and headed to the LRT station. A Christmas party is waiting for me!

Christmas Party

Ethel had invited me and others to her Christmas dinner/party. It was a potluck party but since I came straight from KLCC, I couldn't bring anything that was within my budget. It was mentioned before that there will be a gift exchange so I brought along the Stoplights card game I bought from my workplace there. I was late, so obviously there wasn't much food left. Fortunately I wasn't that much hungry so I ate a little and then the games started. We first had our gifts exchanged. We took turns to read a description of our gift we wrote beforehand and then we took turns to pick a gift from the pool. We also had a choice to snatch gifts that were picked before. At the end, I got Beng's gift and it turned out to be a notebook, much to my disappointment because I thought it was a small novel. Yati got a cool Darth Vader keychain, and Jason got a selfie stick, Melvin got some kind of a mug thing and Hou Yi got a pig soft toy. Those gifts I remember clearly, everyone else's, not so much. After that we played charades to which my team won, whoot! After that we just sat around and chatted random stuff while drinking liquor. I talked to the people I don't know there despite not catching everyone's names. There was wine, rum and vodka. Melvin even made Bloody Mary to which I had like three shots I think. I went pretty tipsy but I got myself under control enough. Eventually I didn't go home, instead I crashed at Yati's house after I sobered up. That was like 3a.m. already.

Comic Fiesta Day 2

I couldn't wake up even after I set my alarm. I just went back to sleep after turning it off. When I did wake up, I figured that I was late already and that I was having a hangover. So I slept another hour and then I headed off to KLCC again.

I had a tag with me so I went right in and set up my stuff. Cheryl and the others were ready already (obviously). Choi wasn't around because she had to go for church in the morning. At one point of the day, Debbie and I caught each other face to face and I went up to meet her. Turned out she was helping out Kid-chan's booth. No wonder I felt that the artwork was so familiar. I was too busy moving along the booths to pay attention to the artists because I wanted to get back to my booth as soon as possible. We chatted for a bit and then went back to our booths. Mae Yen dropped by again but after Krystal and her sister dropped by. Krystal had been messaging me on Facebook about meeting up and I found it quite unusual because besides scouting I don't really talk to Krystal (also that age gap). At my booth I also met Akira! It's been a really long time since I last saw her, she went MIA after some drama about her studies but now she's enrolled into TOA and it seems like she's doing really well. I also caught up with one of the twins, it was either Dion or Fion, I can never tell one the other apart. The two of them are also in college already. This was probably the first time we talked more than three sentences, the twins were always so shy in person. I also caught up with Jun Ee and Yun Han we talked for a bit but I had to attend to some customers and they made their way after a brief farewell. Weiss also dropped by for a short while to greet us. Abel and Mun Hoy also came by. I talked to Abel for quite a while about further studies in animation and creative arts. He later bought some of my badges and went on his way.

Earlier in the morning Sally dropped by, she was pretty excited seeing Cheryl and I. Later in the afternoon, Sally came by again looking down. There were pickpockets going around and she fell victim, losing her cellphone. She had informed the committee members already before coming to our booth but because she got separated from Weiss and Rong Tau she could only turn to us for help. And so I lent her my phone to make calls and log into her Facebook. I let Sally sit with us behind the booth while she waits for her help to come. Later Rong Tau came and the both of them went home after thanking me.

The day went on as per expected of the second day of ACG events. Business was slow but still moving. When it was almost time to pack up, Wee and I went random nuts like the good old times in college, we started shouting random nonsense in Cambodian slang. It was intense I don't even. After we cooled down our random nonsense, we started packing up and said our farewells before heading off our ways. With that Comic Fiesta had come to an end for us. The normal event goers, maybe they're going for the after-CF dance party featuring Hachioji-P.

This year the artist booth section is located so far away from the stage unlike previous years so it was relatively not as active as before. There wasn't any music, just the sounds of the crowd. It wasn't so bad. Cheryl discussed with me about her plans for the next event. She wants to split us so that we have more booth space but that we'll see how it goes. Well then. Until next year!

The Shark and The Hermit Crab

The Shark and The Hermit Crab, they're two sides of the same coin.

The Shark is outspoken, brute, confident and daring.

The Hermit Crab is reserved, timid, quiet and cautious.

But the two of them are lonely.
Lonely in their own world,
Lonely in the environment they strive in.
Lonely but not alone.

Alone but not lonely is what they seek.
They're The Shark and The Hermit Crab.
They're one and the same, only different.

Past Present Future, Ponder Wonder Fonder

Walking forward with uncertainty,
My future's cloudy, I don't see me,
What should I do, what should I see?
Which path should I take to see clarity?

Look back at the past, I see it foggy,
Live now in the present, that's life for me.
The future's a void, it's so scary,
Planning the next step, it's a problematic mystery.

Crash and Burn

Last Sunday night I went on an unexpected drinking session with Far, Iman, Meng Pei and Nigel.

After work, I had dinner at this ramen restaurant with Josh. After that, I planned to take a nap at the office before going home but when I went into the office, Far asked me to join in on a drinking session at Delicious. I didn't have anything to do so I did. What I didn't expect was a bottle of whiskey Far brought. It was a Singleton she took home the night before from the drinking session with the other managers. There was a bit left so I thought that we were gonna just share the little bit among the four of us but instead, Far had Iman and I drink it all. The two of us had three shots each and damn, it tasted good but damn, I went drunk after another two bottles of beer, really wasted, but not as bad as the time in Cameron Highlands with my college mates. It was my first time drinking whiskey after all. I knew I couldn't drive home after the session so I sought for help and the first person I thought of was Steven Saw. So I clumsily went back to the store and I made a fool out of myself there. Saw was mad but he patiently helped me get sober and we went to a mamak to freshen me up. I don't fully remember the details but I talked too much and said a lot of stupid and embarrassing things that Tristan will continue to make fun of me with. One thing I realise now is that even when I'm drunk I can still think properly somewhat. Never will I go to the store drunk again.

Angkor What?

Last Wednesday, I was on a plane to Siem Reap Cambodia. Lydia had invited me to join her and her mom on this holiday trip. Along with us were Lydia's friend, Kayla and her mom so that makes the five of us.

I didn't know what to expect. Lydia's mom dropped by the store one day to brief me about the flight details and the trip. Her behaviorism is like my mom's so I felt comfortable around her, only my mom's better, duh.

Our flight was early in the morning at around 6.15a.m. so the plan was that I follow Lydia home to go to the airport together after work on the day before our flight. That night we got to KLIA2 at 12a.m. in the morning by express train. We spent most of the night just sitting around and/or napping outside the boarding gate until it opened at around 5a.m.

It's been a long time since I last sat on a plane. If I remember correctly I was 11, alone with my sister we flew from Penang back to KL. Having a fear of heights and falling, I was very nervous around the plane. Lydia and I wanted the seat next to the window but I can't possibly fight a girl, so I let her have it. Thankfully our flight to Cambodia was a smooth flight. Mostly because I was asleep most of the time. The only recollection I have of waking up in the plane was when Lydia woke me up because she had headaches from the amount of pressure building in her head.

Disaster took a quick turn after we got off the plane and checked in through customs. Our taxi to our hotel wasn't around. Lydia's mom called the hotel and after waiting for half an hour, she called again to find out that they couldn't contact the driver and that we had to rent a taxi ourselves.

When we got to the hotel, Lydia and her mom were making a fuss with Sophea, the hotel manager about the transport issue. After much complication (due to the boundaries of language), Sophea offered to treat us to lunch by cooking for us personally. With that, we finally checked into the hotel and we could rest in our rooms. We were divided into two rooms, Lydia, her mom and I in one and Kayla and her mom in the other. The beds in our room was placed side by side, Lydia and her mom didn't want to be directly under the fan so I was put in between the two of them. As we were tired, all of us fell asleep. The difference in time from Malaysia also affected us (me, at least) and we slept until past 2p.m.

We woke up to have our lunch on the top most floor of the hotel which is where the restaurant is located. Our hotel, actually a villa, is small and comfortable. It's not those grand type hotels, rather it's like a little backpackers hotel. Lydia's mom said when she was doing her research for places to stay, this particular villa, Bayon Shadow Villa has got good reputation and the manager, Sophea has a lot of praises. During lunch, Sophea sat with us and talked to us. Lydia's mom told her about our plans for the trip and she offered to arrange transportation for us cheap.

Our first stop, Kompong Khleang and Tonle Sap. We rode a tuk tuk owned by a shy man named Savy to the dock. It took about an hours ride to get there so the elders were getting worried about going back to the villa. Either way, we rented a boat and headed to the floating village. At the floating village, we took a small row boat to go through the Flooded Forest (or so what it's called). After that we continued on out to Tonle Sap lake. When we reached there, we had an hour more until the sun set. The adults were still concerned about the tuk tuk ride back and so as the "kids" we had no choice but to turn back before we could catch the sun set.

When we got back to the villa, Sophea told us that she'll take us to a good restaurant to have dinner, it's a local restaurant so that means it isn't a tourist spot which also means the food will be cheap. It was a hot plate cum steamboat style meal, similar to what we have in Malaysia. There is a difference in the way the food is cooked but Kayla's mom wasn't amused. After dinner, the girls went into this small boutique to check out the clothes while we waited for our tuk tuk. Right after that, we headed to the Night Market, Old Market and Pub Street (they're all in one place). We walked around looking at the things (or souvenirs) sold there. Lydia shared with me her plan to get our colleagues souvenirs and I agreed to it because I also had planned to buy something for them; We decided to share. While looking at a phallic shaped wooden slingshot, a familiar voice called out behind me, "Max?!". I turned around and to my astonishment, shock and whatever, it was Wee. With him were Ronald and their colleagues. I bro hugged the two of them and we exchanged a few words before I excused myself because I didn't want to lose track of the girls and elders. It was a really surprising meeting, to think that I'd meet a friend in a foreign country, it's just astonishing! We went back to the villa without buying anything because we still have a long time until we head back to Malaysia.

That night I slept like a log. Lydia had asked me if I snore, to which I replied saying that I don't know because how could I possibly know when no one has ever told me about. The next morning Lydia said I didn't, did she actually investigate if I snore or not? Uh...

The next morning, I got up late because I lazed around in bed for about two hours after waking up. Lydia did the same. Lydia's mom had already got up and had breakfast (which is provided for free at the villa) and she got us up to move on with the agenda. Our initial plan was to go to Angkor Wat to see the sun set but Sophea advised us to see the sun rise instead and so we pushed that plan to Friday. On this day, we went to see the Artisan silk factory instead.

The factory is located out near the village area so it doesn't have a lot of tourists. Savy came to take us there as per Sophea's arrangement. We need not pay entry fees but we gave tips to the guide (A very common thing in Cambodia is people ask for tips). I don't remember how long it took us to go around the whole complex but it was a very knowledgeable experience. We got to see how silk is cultivated and we got to feel the raw silk as it is being spun from the silk moth's cocoon.

After the silk factory, Savy took us to a restaurant that Sophea had arranged for us. Food in Cambodia is presented differently compared to Malaysia, in Malaysia we order the dishes and rice is separate, but in most restaurants in Cambodia, the dish comes with rice so it's difficult to share when your dish is together with your rice. For the lunch, we invited Savy to join us. He was unwilling but all of us urged him to join us. Of course, we paid for his meal.

After lunch, we went back to the villa and took a nap. A "nap" until into the evening. At night we went to watch the Cambodian traditional dance performance. The stage performance depicting folk tales and dances was accompanied by a buffet dinner in an semi-open air restaurant packed with tourists. I wanted to enjoy the stage shows but Lydia kept bugging me to eat the food we brought to the table, the food wasn't that impressive and I had to eat all the leftovers the girls and the mothers left for me (I had to queue up for about twenty minutes to get barbecued beef and chicken kebabs). After the show was over, we went to the market again. We came across this really nice fruit juice vendor who sells fruit juices that you can mix for one US dollar (Cambodians use US dollars as currency together with their Cambodian riel) but only up to three different types of fruits. The combinations we tried were pretty good.

After walking around the market, we went back to the villa and headed to sleep. Lydia said I snored this night.

We woke up really early in the morning. I woke up when Lydia's mom's alarm went off but I only jumped out of bed when mine went. We got ready and I headed down to the lobby first. The midnight staff had mistaken another group of tourists for our group and gave them our packed breakfast so we had to wait another fifteen minutes for our breakfast to be ready. Savy was already waiting for us, he seemed really sleepy but he kept a smile on his face. The early morning in Siem Reap was amazing, though in the town, I could see the faint lights of the stars in the sky, beyond the bright lights from the satellites. On the way to Angkor Archaeological Park, the sky slowly turned bright. We were definitely missing the break of dawn from Angkor Wat but we made it in time to see the sun rise from behind the great old temple. As we entered the park (after paying for the entry tickets), we came into an opening showing the Angkor Wat moat. Seeing the moat in person really sent me in awe. Only seeing it in pictures and hearing about it in class before, I finally saw the majestic Angkor Wat in front of me. I was truly joyous and excited.

We went into the gates and we went into one of the smaller sections on the temple grounds before going into the main building. As I was admiring the sun rise, Wee called from behind and I ran up to him but just before we collided in a bro hug, Lydia's mom slipped on one of the steps and fell on her back. Lydia and a foreigner quickly ran up to her to help her up. Because the two of them were there already, I only stood by to assist if anything happens (read as: I stood by being useless). After Lydia's mom got up, I reunited with Wee and Ronald and we took a photo together to commemorate our unexpected meeting. Wee and Ronald then quickly went back to join their group and I went to check on Lydia's mom. She hurt her back and scrapped herself a little but otherwise fine. We then had our breakfast on site.

After breakfast, I carried the leftovers and we headed into the main building. The two elders wanted to use the restroom so the three of us headed in. Lydia and Kayla decided to leave me behind to take photos as I slowly admired the wall carvings depicting the Battle of Lanka (if I'm not mistaken). The two mothers came back after some time and we continued our journey into the center of the temple. Along the way, we encountered some monkeys. A small monkey grabbed our leftovers and pulled a box out, eating the bananas. I quickly let it have them and took the remaining with me but soon after, a big monkey grabbed the rest of our leftovers and ate them. Lydia and I planned to clean up after the monkey but it was hanging around and hissed at us when we got close. Lydia wanted to challenge the monkey but I held her back. As we left the monkey to it's business, it grabbed another two people's food. Just up ahead, we queued up in a line to climb up to the peak of Angkor Wat. I was afraid of the height but I had to see the top, I just had to, if I didn't, the trip would be a waste! The mothers didn't want to go up because of how steep the steps were so the three of us went up. As we were going up, Lydia and Kayla were making fun of me. The top was nice, it was cooling and I could take nice pictures up there. Lydia sat down and looked about for a while, I wondered what she was thinking. After taking a few photos, we headed back down and made our way to find out how to get to the other temples. Our target was Ta Prohm and the Elephant Terrace.

After asking for directions twice, we went out of Angkor Wat and met up with Savy. He advised us to follow his route and make Angkor Thom the last one to visit as the roads from Angkor Wat is a one way road. We agreed and headed off on his tuk tuk. Our first stop was Banteay Kdei, Lydia and I ventured deep into the temple while the others waited for us outside. We took a few pictures and went back out while being followed by a Cambodian who acted as a guide to try and earn some money from us. We didn't need him to guide us but he followed anyway, at the end, we escaped by jogging off after we were done.

After a quick stop at a road side toilet, we headed into Ta Prohm. It's most famous for the film, Tomb Raider as some scenes from the film were shot here. There were a lot of tourist groups and it was a little difficult to get around as compared to the other sites because of the narrow walkways. Girls being girls, Lydia said that everything looks the same already at this point.

Our last destination was Angkor Thom, it's a large complex with several temples in it's location. Savy stopped his tuk tuk right in front of the Bayon Temple so we went in after getting a refreshing sugar cane drink. Walking round and round, Lydia and I figured that we could have climbed up the stairs because when we first entered, there was sign that said that we couldn't but it turns out that the reason was that that particular stairs was for tourists to come down from and not go up. We almost got lost in the Bayon Temple but after asking for directions, we made it out and headed for the Elephant Terrace. We weren't sure where the Elephant Terrace was exactly but we came across another large temple. The two mothers were too tired to continue and they decided to head back to the tuk tuk. Lydia, Kayla and I continued on to what we thought was the Elephant Terrace but was actually Baphuon Temple.

Baphuon Temple's stairs are really tall and really steep. Going up wasn't much of a problem, it was going back down. I kept focusing on the trees level to my eyes but Lydia keeps teasing me and trying to make me look down. After getting out of Baphuon Temple, we figured that we were not at the Elephant Terrace. After not making any heads or tales after asking for directions, we decided to head back to the tuk tuk. After asking Savy, he took us to the Elephant Terrace and it turned out that the terrace was literally right next to Baphuon Temple. After seeing the terrace from the tuk tuk, we decided that it was about time to go back and rest.

After taking a nap at the villa, we went to the market again. We shopped for a bit and then headed back to the villa. That night, Sophea took us to a special local restaurant. Apparently the chef is a Cambodian (which is apparently not usual in Cambodia) and the restaurant serves a unique type of tea not served at normal restaurants because of how difficult it is to get the fruit for the tea from Phnom Penh. Sophea doesn't know what the fruit is called in English but we found out later on at a supermarket in a local mall, Lucky Mall which we visited after dinner. I forgot what the fruit is called anyway. After the visit to the supermarket, we walked around the streets and visited a pharmacy before going back to the villa.

Before going to Cambodia, my mom had mentioned that beer is really cheap there and for real, it's dirt cheap. One US dollar for a bottle, I had my eye on their beer since day one. After getting back to the villa, I asked if anyone wanted to grab a beer but no one wanted to, everyone told me to go ahead and I reasoned that it feels lonely to drink alone so Lydia agreed to sit with me while I drink. Kayla wanted to join us but she won't drink because her mom doesn't let her. We went out to the small store next to our villa and I bought two bottles of Angkor beer. We went back to the villa and headed to the restaurant on the top floor. After asking her again, Lydia agreed to have some. The two of us shared the bottles and the three of us chatted a little. I was getting tipsy but not that much, when we went back to our room, Lydia said I was red and that I had a huge smile on my face. I am aware that when I'm tipsy I'm like that. That night I regretted not drinking every other night because Angkor beer is the best beer I've ever tasted. Thinking about it makes me miss Siem Reap.

Friday morning is the last day and the plan Lydia and I had in mind was to take the day easy, no sightseeing, no going around looking at tourist sites. But plans change. We had asked Sophea where we can get souvenirs cheap and she said she'll take us to the warehouse and so that was the plan. After breakfast (after lazing around in bed), we headed out on a different person's tuk tuk. He first took us to a shop lot that sells the same souvenir stuff as the market in bulk. After the girls picked out some shirts, we headed to an actual warehouse. There I got some stuff as souvenirs for my family and friends. We spent quite a long time there because girls being girls, they had to look at every nook and cranny, picking out the best.

After the warehouse, we went for a Cambodian massage. We first had our feet washed and then we were put into a big room where we changed into lose clothing they provided. The massage was an hour long and it was just okay. After the massage, we went to have lunch at a vegetarian restaurant that is famous for it's hot plate noodles. After the meal, we dropped by the Artisan in the area. It's much smaller than the one in the outskirts of town and it's crowded with tourists. This Artisan factory produces sculptures, painting, metal crafts and silk screen prints. We walked around without a guide for a while and then we headed back to the market to make our final purchases. It was a very long and tiresome hunt for getting the cheapest price of this set of key chains Lydia's mom wanted. We spent probably about two hours or so there walking round and round. This was probably the most excruciating shopping trip I've ever experienced.

After a short nap back at the villa, we went out for dinner with Sophea. She took us to a small local restaurant and we had rice like our normal Chinese dinner and draft beer. The restaurant looks like your usual beer restaurant (I guess). The entrance to the restaurant is lined with girls (prostitutes/female escorts) caked with make up sitting on chairs waiting for customers. The six of us went in and got a small table. Sophea asked us what we'd like to try and she ordered the dishes for us. While Lydia, her mom, Sophea and I got the draft beer, Kayla and her mom got soft drinks instead because they didn't want to drink (Kayla's mom didn't want Kayla to drink). We chatted over dinner and had multiple toasts of our drinks. As the eating ended and the drinking started, I slowly got tipsy and Lydia kept laughing at my tipsy expression. We ended up having two servings of draft beer and Lydia's mom was almost drunk, she kept asking the same questions and kept laughing after that. We had decided to walk back to the villa so on the walk back, Lydia's mom kept laughing and laughing. Hearing her laughter made me laugh uncontrollably too, which also made everyone else laugh. At first Lydia held on to her mom and I walked in front but Lydia changed her mind when her mom can't stop herself from laughing. She pass her mom to Kayla's mom and she grabbed my shoulder to make sure I wasn't going the wrong way. This was the first time Lydia saw me tipsy so she doubted me when I said I was fine, only tipsy. As we walked, I thought of ways to prove that I wasn't drunk and when I said I wanted another beer (the Angkor beer!) she got worried and but I manage to get my way and she helped me buy one from the same shop the previous night. When we got back to our room, Lydia convinced me to take a bath first before I drink but she was gonna bath first. So I sat on my bed slowly getting sober. I tried to pack my bag but it wasn't really working out. Lydia's mom and I made some small talk and when Lydia was done, I went in to bath and by the time I was done, I was close to sober but still tipsy. I took my beer and Lydia had a sip before deciding to sleep so I had the rest of the bottle to myself which made me tipsy all over again. After I was done, I hit the sack so fast I didn't realise it.

We woke up early in the morning. After cleaning up, I repacked my bags and headed down to the lobby to wait for the others. We had our breakfast and then Savi and the other guy came to pick us up. The journey to the airport showed us a beautiful morning. As I looked out to the scenery of morning breaking, I felt such bliss. Lydia commented that this morning could have a better sun rise compared to what we saw at Angkor Wat. I agreed because the color of the sky when the sun's rays hit the clouds were very beautiful. At the airport, we said our good byes to Savi and went in. We were early and we couldn't go into the departure hall so we sat down outside and waited. When we finally got in, our flight was like the first one in the morning so we got on our plane and we were soon flying out of Cambodia. I dozed in and out of sleep while Lydia sat quietly by the window looking out. As our plane entered Malaysian airspace, our holiday trip came to an end. Upon checking back into our homeland, I spotted Wee and Ronald collecting their luggage and I caught up with them again. Later I shopped at the duty free shops with the girls and moms. I got a bottle of Bacardi, box of Jack Daniel's whiskey filled chocolate sticks and a packet of assorted Hershey's chocolates (childhood's sake). Kayla and her mom took the train back while Lydia and her mom took a coach to KL Sentral. I had to take a coach to 1Utama because my mom won't pick me up from the airport and my dad was in Penang.

Cambodia was amazing. I feel like going back again to this time, take my time indulging in the history and art Siem Reap has to offer. (Also the beer)

The Wallflower

Dear Friend,

   I finished the book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky a few weeks ago and it was brilliant. I felt like I could relate to Charlie in the ways that I'm socially awkward. While most of the content is something I'm unfamiliar with, the behavior, ideology and philosophy of Charlie's is almost similar to mine and that makes me like the book so much.

I'll watch the film adaption soon when I can find the time because it's gotten pretty busy at work. I haven't been posting stuff on this blog either. I guess I'll do that with the two topics I have in mind.

I leave this post with a line from the book which I found inspiring to me. It's a line I feel that I have to learn from and remember.

"It's great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when someone doesn't need a shoulder. What if they need the arms or something like that? You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts and love. You just can't. You have to do things."

Love always,

Max