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Friday, October 28, 2011

Hi, I'm Down In The Ditches Under The Toilet

Nothing much happened recently besides me, feeling all tired, not confident, depressed, down, glum and have lost hope on my animation. I've considered failing it and retaking next semester with my Concept Art 2 but I'll still continue to grasp the rope called 'hope' at it's end to see the outcome. I bet the result won't be pretty.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Awaken From The Slumber(?)

Looking at the calender and my last post, it's been almost a month since I last updated my blog. Just shows how busy (and lazy) I am. Not a lot happened really. AniManGaki was a few weeks ago, I got a Steam account and Team Fortress 2 a few weeks after that, I got scared of Portal and recovered from fearing it to admiring it a few weeks after that, I feel miserable and mentally exhausted now. There is so much to art I want to do but college assignments are taking up my time and I can't wait till the life I have so much time to spend I get bored.

To save myself from dying mentally from assignments, I continued to read manga (duh). I went back to old mangas and of course some ongoing ones. I currently hooked to Love Hina, before that was Mahou Sensei Negima! and before that was Sayonara Zetsubou-sensei. I also read a really one series titled Milk Closet. It's like one of those Narutaru type manga with innocent looking characters with a deep plot and levels of gore.

Overall, there have been a lot of things I haven't been doing that I should be doing. My room, boy, it's dusty as dust. My desk is so messy I can't work there. I want to clean it up but I don't have the time, being in the animation major really eats up your time. It's killing me. I've gotten sick for the past three consecutive weeks with different but similar sicknesses from colds to fevers to diarrhoea.

Last semester I failed Concept Art 1 so I'm retaking it this semester. In the class I'm in for the subject, are a bunch of juniors who I see as a class similar like my current class but more quiet. Lawrence is in that class too so I have someone I can talk to instead of being the lonely senior in the corner of the classroom.

Now, the biggest problem everybody has in class is VST 2. Shooting a short film is no easy task. It's a time consuming giant ball of frustration, madness, anger, depression and disappointment. For me, I'm having problems with 3D Animation 2. We were given three assignments in the first lesson and that is what's making me slower than the others. I can't get this one assignment finished in time. So now I'm very slow, like a snail. I can finish the other animation assignments but this one is my weakness.

Now, everyday I feel extremely exhausted after classes are over. The moment I get home is the moment I fall asleep in bed. I would wake up one to two hours later to have dinner, do some assignments and fall victim to exhaustion again, hence not finishing all my assignments. Above all, I haven't been feeling like myself. I used to be so much more filled with happiness and joy. Now I'm a bucket of exhausted, emo and frustration.

Life pretty much sucks now. Whee. If it was not for Team Fortress 2 and manga, what would have happen to me? Simple, I die, die of being entirely not myself.