そのパレド

Follow the joyfully ominous parade,

happily singing and dancing as they do their silly march,

the confetti will dance around the shrine gates,

the safely net of the ocean is nonlinear,

the ceiling fan brings a message releasing epithets,

the response is sunny,

driving people into insanity,

to march to the end of this parody of utopia,

the story called liberty,

forever in sleep,

never to wake again,

just an empty shell,

the parade of lunacy is coming,

and it is in your name.

パプリカ

Wish

I don't remember since when I had stopped bothering about what I want for my birthday. Every year when someone asks me what I want for my birthday I would say, "Anything.", or "It's okay, I don't need anything." or "My family an friend's health.". Sometimes I would random say something I want but it usually gets off my mind over the time because I didn't really want it or it's not something I want badly.

Today, I found something I really, really, really want.

Black★Rock Shooter character, Strength a.k.a. STR Figma!!!!

Have I mentioned before? My most favorite BRS character is STR. Reasons being, she's loli, she's moe, she is almost expressionless and I love her weapon, Ogre Arms! (Also maybe because she has white hair.)

STR Figma, after more than 10 years of not wanting something so badly, I wish I can have her to keep on my shelf.

I would also love it if I can get STR Nendoroid too. Ahahaha.

Questions

"Is this your life? Doing assignments all day, all week?" my mom asks.

Honestly it's not but what can I do? I'm in The One Academy, I'm in an arts college, in an arts major. That's what life is like when you become an art student. You're life makes a huge turn into a group of human behavior and lifestyle completely different from the norm.

Now it's my turn to ask myself, "Is this the life I want?", "Are sleepless nights, impossible deadlines and heartless clients, the future I want?".

Signs point to "No". I feel like quitting the art industry.

But I don't want to quit either.

Am I now stuck in what they call 'limbo'?

Wanting and not wanting something at the same time?

What should I do?

I want to continue until I graduate The One Academy but at the same time I don't want to hear my mom who doesn't understand the life of people involved with the art industry nag at me.

"Lazy, lazy lazy! Not helping with the house chores!"

People might exaggerate but when I say that if I have to choose between eating, sleeping, bathing, going to the toilet, and assignments, I can only choose one, it is almost not exaggerating.

Sure I have to time to do other things but honestly, if I don't take the time to relax and do what I want, I will honestly lose my mind. I might go crazy. I might just lose my sanity.

She still pesters me about do house chores.

I really don't have the time. If I continue like this, I will fail.

I almost did. I don't want to ever.