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Saturday, October 24, 2009

My Bitter Sweet Song Of Melancholy

Dunno what hit me today but I suddenly thought about all my friends, all the people I know and my classmates for the year 2009. I damn hate it but I also like it, when I feel melancholic. I have been thinking about it since afternoon until night and I lost my appetite by just getting melancholic.

As time is passing by, the day when I'll walk out of school and may never come again and also may never see my friends again draws near. I think back to the days when I was in Form1 and all the bitter and sweet memories I had throughout the years in school. I especially thought about the people I care about.

This year, the great pals around me in class are Yu Beng, Joshua, Wei Xin, Yong Ken and Yi Han. We only really bonded with each other this year compared to the other years before. We would insult each other, mock each other, curse each other but still remain great friends. We seldom hang out together outside but we hang out in school. I like my mom says, school is the best place to hang out with friends.

Heck hell. This isn't just about my friends. It's about everybody I know. Each and every person I know made a difference in my life that makes me the very man I am. I love being with all the people I know. I don't want to turn my back and leave all this behind my back when I leave school. From the very bottom of my heart, I wish that time would just stop, the time being in school with all the people who I spent 5 years together in school would stop and stay that way. I know I'm selfish but that's just who I am. I love my friends. I love the people I know in school who made big changes in my life. Even if that person is someone I don't always talk to, even if it's the people I don't like. I want to be with them. I wish that we all would be immortals and stay together just like how we are now.

OHH!! It's so hard to express everything that's swimming in my head in words!!

When I was in Form1, I was a nerdy guy who stands out because of my strict behavior because I was in charge of the class cleanliness and my buttoned up collar. I always had my collar buttoned up even though I was not wearing a tie and also wearing my pants until above my belly. On the first day of Form1, I sat next to the person I dislike most now, Gavin. During that time, I became friends with him and was fooled by his cunning tricks but I never knew it until Form2. During this year, I found my love at first sight. I fell in love with this girl on the second day of school when I decided to start making new friends. I forgot how, but her friend, Wei Mei found out and made me confess to her, that girl is Wei Mae. After our class teacher changed our seats, I made friends with Yat Hong, Kah Heng, See Toh and Nicholas. I feared Nicholas because of his tough and proud attitude but he changed me and inspired me to be more brave. Yat Hong is a big and tall sguy with squinted eyes who helps others and doesn't expect repayment and doesn't like to be repaid. I can still remember I accused him of something that made him so mad he picked me up and slammed me on the floor. That did not stop me from making friends with him. See Toh, Kah Heng and Yat Hong did nothing but caused trouble in my life. Everyday they, especially Yati and Kah Heng would disturb me and make me frustrated. Even so, I treasure those moments. On this year was also the year I make a reunion with Chia Kuui, a friend I long forgotten because he transfered out of my primary school when we were in Standard3.

When I got into Form2, I was sad because I was not in the same class as Wei Mae but Yat Hong became my deskmate and he continued to annoy me. This year, I made friends with Marcus and Luke. Marcus was another annoying friend who preferred to disturb Yat Hong instead of me. Luke on the other hand was a cool and relaxed guy who keeps a big smile on his face. I have no idea how the duo made good friends together. In this year, I became more brave and I stood out and said what I want to say. This year I made friends with Zi Yang, a guy who made me make money because me buys Pokemon cards from me. Also, I made a reunion with Hou Yi who I can never forget, the girl who tossed my book out the window and got a scolding from out assistant principle in Standard1. I also made friends with Eugene, the ultimate blur head, Shou Jie, the human computer because of his amazing memory skills and Abigail, the otaku tomboy who hits me in the shoulder almost everyday. I also made a small bond with Yong Ken but we seldom talk and we only take after school because we wait for our parents at the same place.

Form3 was when my life made a huge change. I was not in the same class as Yati, Marcus and Luke anymore but that did not stop us from seeing each other. This was the year when Marcus and Yat Hong irritated Wei Mae by telling her things about me. I was jealous of them because they were sitting in front of Wei Mae. This year, I got into the same class as Joshua, after two years, we got into the same class again. Joshua change from a guy who talked about games and TV shows in Standard6 to a guy who noses his way into love gossips of whoever in school and also random with strange ideas like "what if there was a world parallel to ours where we are direct opposites of each other" kind of questions. I don't remember much but I became more sociable because I made many friends especially my scout juniors, Sean, Maverick, Timothy, Marcus and Kin Yen. This year, I made a new special friend who's was as short as me. She is still talking like a machine gun and she keeps amazes me with that fast mouth of hers. That girl is Kelly. I met her one day during scout meeting when she just transfered in with Yee Ying and joined scouts. We became friends soon after but as usual, I can't talk to girls because I get nervous around girls. Well... Except Abigail because she's rough like a guy. One random day Kelly suddenly smses me when I was in Penang telling me to guess who she was because I did not have her number. Turned out she asked for my number from Wei Mae when they were in tuition. We stopped talking to each other after about half the year.

Form4. This year, I changed a lot. I was actually sent to 4C but then I got shifted to 4B, the class of self proclaimed bananas because we don't have Chinese class. The faces of my friends I see were only Yu Beng, Joshua and Chia Kuui. The rest were people I knew or friends who I have not spoken to for years because of our distance from each other's classes in previous years. This year, I made friends with Wei Xin and Yong Ken. Also, a reunion with Yi Han and Ju Vern after three years. The popular gang of students who was well known everywhere that consisted, Kah Jun, Deborah, Kai Peng, Aleysha, Victor, Zachery, Peter and submarine boy, Lakswin were all in this very class. My first impression was that this class won't be united like my previous classes where no matter how different we were, we still manage to make friends with each other. Four major groups existed in this class, and these groups had friends who would only speak to each other and don't really mix around with the new people but as time passed by, we slowly fused together and our class change from Philippines to America, from disconnected islands to a large continent.

Now, everybody in class has opened up and everybody can talk to anybody. Even Rebecca, Ju Vern and after some hard work, Yong Ken starts to talk with their free will but Ju Vern still prefers to speak less. In this final year where everybody looks different form the last, I changed a lot, my pants are not above my belly button anymore, I willingly spike my hair and I talk more to the people in class. Even so, some things I still don't change, I'm still humble, so humble Yee Yign said I should show off more, I still don't talk to girls, not that I don't want to, I can't, because I think that if I suddenly just talk to them I would be considered weird and the girls would avoid me. This year I can get closer to Wei Mae without panicking or feeling shy that much.

All these people I know has made many changes in my life. I wish that the time I spend with all you all would last longer. To the people I did not mention their names, sorry, but like I said, you made a difference in my life. There are things I wanna tell to some people but I dunno how to express them in words. Let's just say that I will treasure all my memories of us together. I wanna do loads of things after SPM with my good buddies. Make memories together is the best thing to do.

Must have class reunion party in the future! RAWR!

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